9.05.2008

Things Heard at the Table

Everyone has weird stories about things that have happened at the gaming table. These are a list of things that came out of someone's mouth at our table:

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"So we're in CSI: Cursed Mountain City?"
(D&D)

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"Bitchlord Vecna"
(D&D)

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"What are you doing in my room?!"
"You owe me five bucks."
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

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It's like watching midgets make out. Which I do.
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

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The Frog of Ultimate Justice! What? It's elven and elegant.
(D&D)

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I know they look like big, red, evil catfish. But that's because they are.
(Star Wars)

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A vorpal fruitcake?
(D&D)

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You'll have to excuse my friend. He's just blown our cover.
(Iron Kingdoms)

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"I know you can only get drunk when you get married, or juggle your first child."
"What?"
"Oh yeah. Your ways are different.
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

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What? It's not like encounters escalate according to your level.
(the DM)

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"I'm going to train it to cook itself. It's an unrepeatable trick."
"You hope."
(Iron Kingdoms, because you can always leave it to the Scharde to disturb you)

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"There will be an avalanche. It was foretold. Plus the dwarves gave us these great explosives."
(D&D)

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"Hello, Dangerous. You're coming with me."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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"It's cute now, but when's five feet we have to flush it down the toilet."
(The old Marvel Superheroes RPG. And they're talking about a baby t-rex.)

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"Boomtongue keeps his family in his cheeks."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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"Eisen-something-German."
"What a lovely name."
(7 Seas)

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DM: "How do you get there?"
Harley: "I have a five in arcane. I walk."
(Mage: the Ascension)

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Ambrose: "I have HIT Marks in my class!"
Marc: "So what did you do?"
Ambrose: "I gave them detention. They were programed to act like students so they went. Then they toilet papered my house."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

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"Fire. The anti-zombie."
(I don't remember...)

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"He wants to do biologically impossible things with you."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

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"One of the Red Skull's powers is Unearthly Racism."
(Marvel RPG)

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You've asked two amnesiac superheroes what they want to do. Of course they want to beat shit up! It's all they know!
(Marvel RPG)

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It's weird that poison Ivy is a vegetarian. You'd think that she'd be the biggest meat eater there ever was: "You! Cow! DIE!"
(Marvel RPG)

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"I'm not sure I have lungs. Let me look... Nope."
(Marvel RPG)

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"I wasn't going for industrial espionage, but now you've pissed me off."
(I don't remember...)

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"Will one of the bad guys start shooting at me so I know which side I'm on?"
(Marvel RPG)

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I hope that goes down stairs and not some horrible dimension.
(Marvel RPG)

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Boomtongue: "Ian is wise."
Ian: "That's why I'm the priest."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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Okay. Gregori grabs her ass. (Never let the thief fight a berserker.)
(Iron Kingdoms)

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Nothing beats a turbo laser by your side.
(Star Wars)

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"He was a DNA freak. If he found a person with a DNA code, he wanted a copy."
(Star Wars)

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"He's not safe! There are cows out there!"
(Star Wars)

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"He ate too much pie and up and died."
(Star Wars)

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"Go home? I'd rather be set on fire by Thamarites!"
"Don't you mean Mennites?"
"Well that goes without saying."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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"I was keeping a sheep in a catapult for that reason."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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"Hold onto it. I might want to clone that one day."
(Star Wars)

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"That's right. I'm from Spanish Milwaukee, chico."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

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Reedan: "How do we get Z out of the armor?"
Oola: "Get a few drinks in him."
(Star Wars)

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"I'm not killing that cow. But I am saying goodbye to a few sheep."
(Star Wars)

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"I have so much money I don't know what to do with it. So I rob other people of their cash."
(Star Wars)

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"She's extremely organized and useful."
"So, she's a spy."
(Star Wars)

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"It's Pendrake. Someone has to go and protect the students."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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Camden: "It's not a curse! It's a hole in your soul!"
Gregori: "What's the difference?"
Camden: "I can fix a curse!"
(Iron Kingdoms)

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Student: "It smells bad down here."
Braeden: "That would be the dead body."
(Iron Kingdoms)

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Pardon me. I have to kill my friend.
(I don't remember...)

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"We are not threatening prisoners with baked goods!"
(Star Wars)

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I just massacred that word.
(Star Wars)

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I don't live in a hostel. I live in a hostile.
(Star Wars)

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You made a new tradition: the Wuss-tini.
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

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