Things Heard at the Table

Everyone has weird stories about things that have happened at the gaming table. These are a list of things that came out of someone's mouth at our table:

"So we're in CSI: Cursed Mountain City?"

"Bitchlord Vecna"

"What are you doing in my room?!"
"You owe me five bucks."
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

It's like watching midgets make out. Which I do.
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

The Frog of Ultimate Justice! What? It's elven and elegant.

I know they look like big, red, evil catfish. But that's because they are.
(Star Wars)

A vorpal fruitcake?

You'll have to excuse my friend. He's just blown our cover.
(Iron Kingdoms)

"I know you can only get drunk when you get married, or juggle your first child."
"Oh yeah. Your ways are different.
(Iron Kingdoms, courtesy of Boomtongue)

What? It's not like encounters escalate according to your level.
(the DM)

"I'm going to train it to cook itself. It's an unrepeatable trick."
"You hope."
(Iron Kingdoms, because you can always leave it to the Scharde to disturb you)

"There will be an avalanche. It was foretold. Plus the dwarves gave us these great explosives."

"Hello, Dangerous. You're coming with me."
(Iron Kingdoms)

"It's cute now, but when's five feet we have to flush it down the toilet."
(The old Marvel Superheroes RPG. And they're talking about a baby t-rex.)

"Boomtongue keeps his family in his cheeks."
(Iron Kingdoms)

"What a lovely name."
(7 Seas)

DM: "How do you get there?"
Harley: "I have a five in arcane. I walk."
(Mage: the Ascension)

Ambrose: "I have HIT Marks in my class!"
Marc: "So what did you do?"
Ambrose: "I gave them detention. They were programed to act like students so they went. Then they toilet papered my house."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

"Fire. The anti-zombie."
(I don't remember...)

"He wants to do biologically impossible things with you."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

"One of the Red Skull's powers is Unearthly Racism."
(Marvel RPG)

You've asked two amnesiac superheroes what they want to do. Of course they want to beat shit up! It's all they know!
(Marvel RPG)

It's weird that poison Ivy is a vegetarian. You'd think that she'd be the biggest meat eater there ever was: "You! Cow! DIE!"
(Marvel RPG)

"I'm not sure I have lungs. Let me look... Nope."
(Marvel RPG)

"I wasn't going for industrial espionage, but now you've pissed me off."
(I don't remember...)

"Will one of the bad guys start shooting at me so I know which side I'm on?"
(Marvel RPG)

I hope that goes down stairs and not some horrible dimension.
(Marvel RPG)

Boomtongue: "Ian is wise."
Ian: "That's why I'm the priest."
(Iron Kingdoms)

Okay. Gregori grabs her ass. (Never let the thief fight a berserker.)
(Iron Kingdoms)

Nothing beats a turbo laser by your side.
(Star Wars)

"He was a DNA freak. If he found a person with a DNA code, he wanted a copy."
(Star Wars)

"He's not safe! There are cows out there!"
(Star Wars)

"He ate too much pie and up and died."
(Star Wars)

"Go home? I'd rather be set on fire by Thamarites!"
"Don't you mean Mennites?"
"Well that goes without saying."
(Iron Kingdoms)

"I was keeping a sheep in a catapult for that reason."
(Iron Kingdoms)

"Hold onto it. I might want to clone that one day."
(Star Wars)

"That's right. I'm from Spanish Milwaukee, chico."
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)

Reedan: "How do we get Z out of the armor?"
Oola: "Get a few drinks in him."
(Star Wars)

"I'm not killing that cow. But I am saying goodbye to a few sheep."
(Star Wars)

"I have so much money I don't know what to do with it. So I rob other people of their cash."
(Star Wars)

"She's extremely organized and useful."
"So, she's a spy."
(Star Wars)

"It's Pendrake. Someone has to go and protect the students."
(Iron Kingdoms)

Camden: "It's not a curse! It's a hole in your soul!"
Gregori: "What's the difference?"
Camden: "I can fix a curse!"
(Iron Kingdoms)

Student: "It smells bad down here."
Braeden: "That would be the dead body."
(Iron Kingdoms)

Pardon me. I have to kill my friend.
(I don't remember...)

"We are not threatening prisoners with baked goods!"
(Star Wars)

I just massacred that word.
(Star Wars)

I don't live in a hostel. I live in a hostile.
(Star Wars)

You made a new tradition: the Wuss-tini.
(Werewolf/Mage/Changeling crossover)


Have we gone too far?

I think it's snazzy.

If you want the country

Okay. This just pisses me off.

Word of warning: this has nothing to do with gaming. So feel free to jump elsewhere if you're just here for the games.

Hit the jump. I'll see you in a few.

What the hell is it with people who move out to the country and don't want the country?! Seriously! This is ridiculous!

Listen up, city slickers: The country is NOT for you. Stay in your nice safe city and don't bother the people who are growing your food.

Everyday, more family farms, which are the backbone of organic foods I might add, die because of things like this. Sure, the country is pretty. The country also smells. The country is also noisy. The country is filled with things like wild animals that will roam on your property, and farmers who don't appreciate people telling them that they can't make their livelihood because manure smells.

Hell, just last week a BIG black bear walked across the parking lot of the movieplex a couple miles from my house. And that's normal. In another week, this place will stink to high heaven when the manure is laid out on the fields just after first harvest.

The country is not for the weak of heart. Even if you can live with the noise and smell, nature has full reign out here and nature is dangerous. Dear aren't so pretty anymore after they've busted up your car and sent you to the emergency room.

You want to have the pretty country? Fine. Buy a painting, put it up in your living room, and stay the hell away from us. It will save you money and heartache.


Picking up the Phone

My long time email penpal sent me this link and I can't believe I didn't know about it until now. Shame on me!

Here's Thorne Scratch and Twig Collins with:

229 Things Sephiroth Never Thought He'd Say On The Phone

My Brain! It burns!

Why the 8-5 shift isn't all that bad

Check out what I saw this morning!

The balloon was right above our heads this morning. Totally awesome. :)
Sorry about the pixelation. I took the photos with my phone.


Be Still My Beating Heart!

Check this!

Oh Castlevania! How I love thee! Let me count the ways!


Even My Tissues are Geeky!

Check out my awesome mini tissue holder!

It is plastic canvas with Caron Simply Soft yarn.

The basic pattern is this:

Cut 1 piece of plastic canvas 25 x 38 for back.
Cut 2 pieces of plastic canvas 11 x 38 for front.

With yarn and yarn needle, stitch whatever you want on the front and back before sewing pieces together. Stuff with tissues.

You get extra points for eye sore-ness. ;)


oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Darth Vader Spared Jail in Attack on Jedi Church

The Associated Press

HOLYHEAD, Wales -- A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones -- aka Master Jonba Hehol -- with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court.

He also whacked Jones' 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones -- known as Master Mormi Hehol -- bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.

The two cousins and Barney Jones' brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the "Star Wars" films.

The group, which claims about 30 members, says on its Web site that it uses "insight and knowledge" from the films as "a guide to living a better and more worthwhile life."

"We all love the films and what they stand for. Obviously some people are going to laugh about it," the Wales on Sunday newspaper quoted Barney Jones as saying last month. "But a lot of people do take it seriously."

Unfortunately for Hughes, his March attack was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle.

"Darth Vader! Jedis!" Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand.

"He knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it," said Hughes' lawyer, Frances Jones.

District Judge Andrew Shaw sentenced Hughes to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for one year. He also ordered Hughes to pay $195 to each of his victims and $117 in court costs.

In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 -- 0.7 percent of the population -- listed Jedi as their religion.

Oh Wow, Man!


Video Game to Find a Cure for AIDS

The game is, apparently, an elaborate form of Tetris.

See? Video games are not only good for you, playing them helps others!


Kindred: The Embraced

Not the game. The show.

Remember that piece of crappy yet oddly intriguing thing from the 90's?

In my convalescence last Thursday, I was a captive audience for this travesty and found it eminently more enjoyable the second time around. I believe that this is because I have many years of role-playing the game that spawned it (spawned is the correct word) under my belt. You have a totally different perspective on things after you've spent game after game telling the same player that "Tastes Great!" is more important than "Less Filling." (I'm not kidding.) Suddenly, Julian Luna's insta-wolf transformations don't look so garish and even the crack-pot, conspiracy theorist-slash-detective that everyone argues with rather than kills is acceptable.

With Mark Frankel's premature death, the series died. I think, in the end, that's a good thing. It was one of the few things not touched by meta plot. We had a totally different, if nonsensical, San Fransisco crew. Watching it was a refreshing reminder that not everything was totally ruined by meta plot and it gave players license to be creative.

Hell, my first white wolf experience involved the death of Baba Yaga and the infiltration of Russia by the Camarilla. (No. The old hag wasn't done in by a vampire.) So not meta plot.

If you have the chance, pop on Sci Fi channel and catch some old episodes. You may find, like myself, they are so much better after The Masquerade's implosion.


Speaking of Silent Hill

We now have Silent Hill 5 screenshots!

Originally, the game was called 'No Escape' and it's been changed to 'Homecoming.' This works better as calling the game no escape would be a little redundant.

I keep avoiding the purchase of a PS3, but since it Sony won the hi-def wars (and by extension, I'm eating crow), I know I won't be able to put it off for much longer. I am already sold on the 360, and since Homecoming will be coming out on both platforms, I may avoid it just a little longer.

In a strange twist of fate, Europe will see the release of the game before us. And though I don't begrudge them that, it may kill the U.S. release. Game companies complain about theft, but they don't take the obvious step to stop it, which is simultaneous release. By the time the game hits shelves here, most fans will either have bought the European edition or stolen it.

Anyway, it looks like our new everyman, Alex Shepherd, is hitching a ride with an older Travis Grady, the star of Origins, in the screenshots. This isn't official, just what it looks like in what we've seen so far.


Silent Hill Origins

As soon as I found out the prequel was available for the PS2, I nabbed it for my husband. He's only just started it, so I a proper review will have to wait.

I do want to say that the map function is 100% better than previous games.

The graphics are pretty darn good for a hand held port to console. I don't ever begrudge Silent Hill looking nothing like Final Fantasy because the crispy visuals just aren't good material for Silent Hill's sort of horror. In fact, the visual gets grainy and the tracking goes wiggy when a monster is close by. It makes it easier to know when to look, though some of the monsters are harder to kill.

Big Hint: Grab every IV stand you can find. They kill things fast and resist breaking for a while.


Oldest and Youngest

Here's me and Noah! Noah is the youngest of my cousins. I'm the oldest of all the cousins. I turn 30 this year and Noah is barely pushing a year.

Isn't he adorable?


Aquarius Training

With Origins on the horizon, I've been debating whether or not Everybody vs. Andy would be enough for me in the Looney Labs events. I love watching Andy run around like a chicken with his head cut off and still manage to beat 20-30 people at 20-30 games at a time. Last year was the first time I managed to beat Andy and I did it with Aquarius.

This is kind of a shame because Fluxx is my love. It's also cool, because he has the longest hair and it shows my skill that I beat him anyway.

So now I'm Aquarius training in the hopes that I can compete in the Origins Aquarius tournament. I'm even growing my hair out to give me an advantage. I'm after a flower this year and I'm going to get one!

I'm also hoping the Ice House Champion will teach another Ice House seminar. I had a great time last year and want to learn more about the nuances of a deceptively simple game. Oh, for those of you who hit the jump, it takes you to Tree House, which is the game you can play with a single Ice House set. The "Playing With Pyramids" book has the rules for Ice House.

Of course, a late night game of "Are you the Werewolf?" is always a riot. I have a friend who took the werewolf deck and made characters for each of the villagers to act out. Because, as we all know, it needs to be even worse than it was before. Andy was pretty impressed with the idea at last Origins... Well, that was until we declared him the werewolf. XD

If you head to Origins this year and are the crafty sort, I suggest hanging out with Kristen in the Looney Labs. She'll teach you how to make a carrot headband.

Giving In: Again...

Castlevania, my gaming addiction of choice, has called to me, and I am now looking to buy a PSP for my sweet, sweet Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles addiction. The announcement that flOw would be ported to the PSP earlier had chipped away at my resistance, but Castlevania drove the stake into the heart of it all.

So now I'm pricing PSPs. I stopped into the local Gamestop to have a look at the used ones and checkout FF7: Crisis Core. I found the used PSPs, but did I even find a hint of Crisis Core? Nope.

Now I understand that Gamestop makes the vast majority of their dough on used games. That's fine. But if you don't sell some new games, there won't be any used ones to sell back to you. Right?



I walked over to Wally-World to check out what they had in PSP games. Keep in mind that this is a 'big blue box' in the middle of 'college town gamer central.' They had a total of five PSP games: Spongebob Squarepants, Sega Genesis Collection, Harvest Moon, Tiger Woods PGA 08, and Patapon.

Wow. I thought I remembered Sony saying the PSP was going to be a 'grown-up' DS. Yet another thing they have to take back. Granted, Patapon looks cool, but do we really need another Spongebob game? Have we not suffered enough with the massive amount of Pokemon?

Again, I am stuck with buying what I want off the net. Ebay, my on again off again lover, would be great if all the gamers on the damn thing would agree that we would never bid over a certain amount for anything and therefore drive the prices of what we want down. Seriously! You're not shopping victoriously when your paying more for something (+ shipping) that a quick trip to Best Buy wouldn't get you cheaper. Do yourself a favor and check the retail price at a big box store before bidding!!!

So, I am still sans PSP, though I will have one on April 30th (aka payday!), as it is my promised reward for kicking ass and getting a new job. And I will also be getting the nifty little hook-up that will let me play on the big screen tv in the living room. Because we need to see why the travesty that is Sephiroth went so badly. (Oh technology! How I love you!)


Super Smash Brothers

Last Friday, a bunch of the kids came over for a night filled with Mr. Game and Watch turning into an octopus and Jigglypuff (Did I spell that right? Dear Lord, I hope not...) expanding faster than a helium balloon. So the boys could play, I did all the running around. I did, however, get in on the last round of horror and learned something fascinating about myself:

I am still able to pick up any fighter and kick ass with it.

Go Me!

Of course, it wasn't that hard to do. The custom stage sucked and it's easy to avoid death when the bottom of the stage is covered with spikes. Spikes won't kill you, but your percentages will go to hell.

Yes. I played Zelda/Sheik. I am a fangirl through and through.

Back to fighters.

Remember this?

Ah yeah, baby! I love Mortal Kombat! Even as a little kid, I could never understand what people were so up in arms about with the blood spray. I thought the blood spray was cool. No other game I had at the time had blood spray. My cousins and I would play Mortal Kombat into the wee hours. Fast forward to Mortal Kombat 3 and the massive MK3 tournaments and I was in hog heaven!

I have fond memories of handing men of all ages their asses when they tried to "teach" me that Mortal Kombat was a "man's game." Yeah right.

Anyway, I am salivating over the rumors of a Final Fantasy Fighter. The chance to whoop Sephiroth's girly butt with Aerith is very appealing. Then there's just playing Sephiroth. I know he's a pretty-mouthed pansy, but remember: Fangirl talking.

I'd love to see some of the Castlevania men appear in a fighter: Simon, Leon, Soma...

You were waiting for Alucard, right? He goes without saying.

What if we could have an Ubi-Soft fighter?!

Rayman vs. Altair
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Atsuma
Prince of Persia vs. Rabbids
Jade vs. Travis Touchdown
Bomberman vs. Rianna Saren
Winnie the Pooh vs. Lloyd

Wow. That got weird fast. I didn't even add in all the Splinter Cell and Rainbow Six stuff.

Can I have a fighter with Yuri from Shadow Hearts and Dante from Devil May Cry, please?

Cheat Sheet!
Rayman/Assassin's Creed
TMNT/Enchanted Arms
Prince Of Persia/Raving Rabbids
Beyond Good and Evil/No More Heroes
Bomberman/Star Wars Lethal Alliance
Winnie the Pooh/Astonishia


Giving In

Well, I've finally done it. I now have a cell phone.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I've been playing with the damn thing every night.

In an attempt to assert my dominance over it, I added Bejeweled (also known as crack) and Poppit! (also known as uncut crack). I am so screwed.

I have to say that I'm proud of myself for resisting the entire 'perfect background and/or ring tone' insanity that has taken over the rest of my household. While my husband scours the net for Dr. Who backgrounds and ringtones, I just took a picture of my favorite fabric and set it as my background. In some way, I'm hoping this will help motivate me into starting my new backpack. The one I've currently got is killing my shoulders, and, as a bursitis vicitm, I need to watch that.

That's right. No pictures of Joachim Armster or Albel Nox or Sephiroth. Just fabric. Let my husband struggle to find a pic of David Tennant that isn't distorted by the phone. I'm happy.

All that said, I haven't actually used my phone that much. And watching the way the students in library use theirs is kind of disturbing. A whole gaggle of girls walked in. They were obviously together as they stopped and waited as a group when one had to break off to do something. The weird part was that they never spoke to each other. They were all on their cellphones, talking to someone else.

It's things like that, that make me envy my grandmother's generation. They understood the value of actually physically seeing a friend to talk. But maybe that's the difference. These kids don't have friends. They just have a large group of acquaintances that they talk to so they don't feel lonely. It's simultaneously creepy and disheartening.



Yesterday, the father of role-playing left us. E. Gary Gygax left us too young at age 69.

It was extremely surreal. You never know what kind of impact a person has one your life until they're gone.

I was working on some D&D stuff for my DM when I got the news. And I was much more devastated than I thought I'd be.

Gary's the reason for a lot of things for me. He's the reason a relationship even developed between my husband and I when we started dating. He's the reason I made it through the toughest times in college. He's the reason I became so interested in religious studies. He's the reason I go to Origins every year to hang out with total strangers and leave with new friends.

Gary's the reason for a lot of other things. He's the reason people have become doctors, actors, and writers. He's the reason people who have nothing in common gather around a table together. He's the reason games aren't just about winning.

He's the reason for a world wide community of gamers, all of whom mourn him today.

Today, I'm at work, with tears in my eyes and a sniffle in my nose. I know that gaming will go on. It's so much bigger than one person. But the person who encouraged our imaginations from the beginning is gone. And now there will always be a Gary shaped hole in our hearts.

We miss you Gary.



Eek! I haven't posted in, like, forever, right?

I am working on a bunch of dice bag posts that will teach you how to make a variety of different dice bags from really simple to really complex. As soon as I get the new memory card for my camera, we'll be having dice bag fun! I promise that it won't be super-girly. ;)

I'm in the process of applying for a new job. Of course, I'll only be moving into an office in the west end of the building should I get it. If I do, I promised myself a 360 as a reward.

Of course, I may amend that and also be getting a PSP. Not that I'm interested in PSP games. They tend to suck and I'm hoping that changes. The driving factor behind buying the PSP is flOw, which is being ported to the PSP and I'll take mobile relaxation any day of the week.

If you've never played flOw, you can love it online here. Remember to turn the music up.

The new job promises more money which means more games! Of course, I've had that hankering to play Shadow Hearts again, so I should probably just pop that in this weekend and let Yuri kick the crap out of everything in site.