6.15.2006

Bra Size and Video Games

Female gamers often talk about the bra size of female characters in games. Why? Because they're obviously designed by horny guys and we think that's both horrifying and terribly funny. I'm not being really philisophical with this post. I'm just pointing out the good, the bad, and, well, there isn't really any ugly. Drop me note if you find some.

Here's the *big* badies:

Kurenai - Red Ninja: End of Honor
I don't know how those flopping triple D's manage to stay in that horrible excuse for a kimono. The only reason it's tolerable is that Kurenai can cut off heads, cut people in half, and do some generally nasty things with her unique weapon.

Shania - Shadow Hearts From the New World
This pair of whopping triple D's are held in place by a ribbon that falls off with every transformation. Of course, it didn't matter if the ribbon was there or not, I didn't use her until after I picked up her final form at the end of the game.

Reith - Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Though not as bad as the above two, Reith is eternally pictured with her tits up in her face. There's some sexual connotation in that, that I am ignoring. The only thing that keeps you from noticing her chest is her hips and thighs, which would give all the women in my place of work combined a run for our money.

Eonis - Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
While we're on Magna Carta, let's not forget Eonis. It's not that her chest is big, mind you, it's that they're big and strangely shaped. I hope to God that's her armor or she's got beigger problems then the Yason.

Tifa - Final Fantasy VII
The only character to make it on both lists. The Tifa of the game was more than top heavy, she made Barbie look down right flat! How she managed to move without snapping her spine I will never figure out.

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Though there are plenty of female characters with a larger breasts, Lara took the world by storm by being a video game that featured a girl and was very popular with guys. She gets the most flack, since she'd the most visible, and in the earliest games the character design deserves it.

Karen - Shadow Hearts Covenant
Karen does a good job of hiding the goods for the beginning of the game, but the moment she lets the guys dress her the whole world can tell that she's going to have back problems before she even gets around to marrying Ben Hyuga.

Mortal Kombat
, Street Fighter, Soul Caliber
Don't get me wrong, I love games in which I can beat the shit out of someone else, or at least the AI, and Soul Caliber's addition of Link to the family was great, but man, tone down the size of the jugs.



Let's be nice. There are examples of game programmers who got it right (or at least had both hands on the key board when mapping out the character.

Lulu - Final Fantasy X
Yes, Lulu is top heavy. She is also an average sized woman. It's a costume I could easily pull off.

Yuna - Final Fantasy X

Yuna is a well proportioned girl. Even in X-2, here chest size didn't increase. She did look less like the summoning priestess she was supposed to be...

Alice - Shadow Hearts
Alice, sweet little Alice. You can ignore her short dress because she's pretty well proportioned, with a bit on the thin side.

Tifa - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
Toned down for a larger (no pun intended) audience, this Tifa is correctly proportioned and ends up looking ten times cooler.

Aerith - Final Fantasy VII
Let's not forget the sacrifice of FF7: Aerith. She had a normal body. In fact, when I think about, the only female in Final Fantasy whose character design made you cry was Tifa. Even the scantily clad Yuna, Riku, and Paine of X-2 were well proportioned. (Yes, I know I gave you a link to a Kingdom Hearts shot. The point is still the same.)

Zelda - Legend of Zelda
Link's lady love is an elf, which has worked in her back's favor. Elfish girls, even in video games, have managed to stay flat as a board.

Peach - Super Mario Brothers
Princess Peach, marketed to younger players, is well proportioned, if cartoonish. Which is good, because she's marketed to younger players.

So it's not all bad. It's pretty obvious which games were made to appeal to a particular set though. Though gravity defying tits is only one thing to complain about. I can go on and on about scantily clad women or token female characters that have no personality. To be honest, I'm not surprised by the amount female objectification in some games. I'm just disappointed.

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