Castlevania Movie

My worst fears and hopes are soon to clash. Castlevania will be a movie.

Writers are hoping to take the franchise into the film arena with a movie on Dracula's origins and the fight with the Belmonts. Whether or not it will be a movie version of Lament of Innocence is yet to be seen. Though the original announcement came out in 2005, it wasn't until now that we're hearing some real buzz. The film will be written and directed by Paul Anderson and produced by Jeremy Bolt.

Bolt is responsible for the Resident Evil films and Anderson is responsible for the Mortal Kombat films.

Take that as you will.

As a Castlevania whore, I am crossing my fingers and praying it won't be totally lame. But I know I'm going to be crying.

Bolt is promising homage to the previous games and the appearance of Vampire Killer.

All I have to say is that Konami better release a really good game at the same time to make up for the future debacle.

To clean the palette, here's some new Portrait of Ruin shots.

Steam Power

Now if you look down the blog, you'll see a list of favs. In there is the fantastic Iron Kingdoms setting, which is a D&D world built on steam power! They have trains, guns, and steamjacks: steam powered mechs. And while many would think such a thing unlikely, if not outright impossible, here's a bunch of kids proving you wrong by starting small:

Steam Powered Robots


iPods suck

I don't understand the lure of the iPod. Maybe it's because I have an MP3 player that works better than an iPod.

Anyway, the pod is taking over our lives

I am in full support of sites like SmashMyiPod.

Do I think the donated money could be put to better use? Yes.
Do I think that a charity donation would be as entertaining? No.
Do I find the site, with its hate mail, fan mail, and ironic ads by google entertaining? Sweet sassy molassy, Yes!

Smash the iPod!

I'm just a takin' a quiz, just a takin' a quiz...

Quiz: Kingdom Hearts
(drum roll please)

I AM.... RIKU!

(If you didn't see that coming, you haven't been paying attention.)




More free games to keep you occupied and out of trouble.


NationStates is a nation simulation game based on the book Jennifer Government by Max Barry.

Create a nation, rule it however you please, interact with other nations, and join the UN.

You know you want to be a dictator. ;)



Here's a question I get:

Do you know a good massage therapist?

Why, yes. Yes, I do.

Her name is Amy and this is her Massage website!

Let's just call them pr0n scarves and get it over with.

A grad student came up with a scarf that let's you play your game without anyone seeing the screen or your face.


Worth Waiting For...

Don't have an Xbox 360? Is it just too expensive? Don't worry. Microsoft is coming to the rescue...

By dropping the price by a hundred bucks when the PS3 makes its debute!

Sneaky! Sneaky!

Microsoft is redesigning Xbox components to make them cheaper and be able to drop the Xbox price. Microsoft will still lose money on the console, but what they are doing is a time honored trick in the Wal-Mart world: drop your price so low your competitor cannot compete. If microsoft edges sony out of the console war, they are free to price their consoles however they like.

Sony, which plans to launch the PS3 with a whopping (yes, that's sarcastic) ten games, is going to hit sink or swim this fall. They will, of course, sink. What with all the extra weight, also known as the God-forsaken Blu-Ray. Time to pull out my funeral gear.

Of course, neither of the giants are considering Nintendo a threat, which is a big mistake. Regardless of the horrible name change, the Wii may take them all down.


Web Comics Worth Reading

Here's my favorite web comics. How did these mighties get on my list? They managed to keep me hooked everyday. Are they in any particular order? Nope.

8-bit Theatre @ Nuklearpower
8-bit love with the original Final Fantasy I cast.

CVRPG (Castlevania RPG)
Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what horrible trouble Xavier Darkmoon's got himself in. For a Castlevania whore like me, this comic is a rare gem.

Bunny: the Book of Random
Bunny features... bunnies. Not all of them are cute and adorable. Don't worry, Orange. I wish I could have loaded a few colossi with explosives too.

Dinosaur Comics
This is one of the funniest comics I've ever found. The art never changes, in fact, it always stays exactly the same. But, the comic never fails to amuse.

Sluggy Freelance
I'll be honest, I love the old stuff better than the new, but I still can't stop reading. Watch out for the kittens...

Red Meat
You have to be a real geek or a real psycho to get this comic. Luckily, I am both.

Pocket Hands
Jimi promised more, but he hasn't updated in a year. It's now dead, hence no link, but it still ranks as one of my favorite comics. Pocket Hands followed the adventures of Jimi and Kevin through college. Why Pocket Hands? Because Jimi can't draw hands.

Penny Arcade
They're already on the roll, but also deserve a nod here.

Order of the Stick
Stick figure love and a gamer's delight. This is the only place where AD&D means Attention Deficit Disorder.


Happy Father's Day!

Love ya, Dad!

Here's my hero! I burned mp3's of Fulton Sheen's Retreat for People on the Go for him for Father's Day.

P.S. - yes, I am aware that I posted a picture of myself. :)


Bra Size and Video Games

Female gamers often talk about the bra size of female characters in games. Why? Because they're obviously designed by horny guys and we think that's both horrifying and terribly funny. I'm not being really philisophical with this post. I'm just pointing out the good, the bad, and, well, there isn't really any ugly. Drop me note if you find some.

Here's the *big* badies:

Kurenai - Red Ninja: End of Honor
I don't know how those flopping triple D's manage to stay in that horrible excuse for a kimono. The only reason it's tolerable is that Kurenai can cut off heads, cut people in half, and do some generally nasty things with her unique weapon.

Shania - Shadow Hearts From the New World
This pair of whopping triple D's are held in place by a ribbon that falls off with every transformation. Of course, it didn't matter if the ribbon was there or not, I didn't use her until after I picked up her final form at the end of the game.

Reith - Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Though not as bad as the above two, Reith is eternally pictured with her tits up in her face. There's some sexual connotation in that, that I am ignoring. The only thing that keeps you from noticing her chest is her hips and thighs, which would give all the women in my place of work combined a run for our money.

Eonis - Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
While we're on Magna Carta, let's not forget Eonis. It's not that her chest is big, mind you, it's that they're big and strangely shaped. I hope to God that's her armor or she's got beigger problems then the Yason.

Tifa - Final Fantasy VII
The only character to make it on both lists. The Tifa of the game was more than top heavy, she made Barbie look down right flat! How she managed to move without snapping her spine I will never figure out.

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Though there are plenty of female characters with a larger breasts, Lara took the world by storm by being a video game that featured a girl and was very popular with guys. She gets the most flack, since she'd the most visible, and in the earliest games the character design deserves it.

Karen - Shadow Hearts Covenant
Karen does a good job of hiding the goods for the beginning of the game, but the moment she lets the guys dress her the whole world can tell that she's going to have back problems before she even gets around to marrying Ben Hyuga.

Mortal Kombat
, Street Fighter, Soul Caliber
Don't get me wrong, I love games in which I can beat the shit out of someone else, or at least the AI, and Soul Caliber's addition of Link to the family was great, but man, tone down the size of the jugs.

Let's be nice. There are examples of game programmers who got it right (or at least had both hands on the key board when mapping out the character.

Lulu - Final Fantasy X
Yes, Lulu is top heavy. She is also an average sized woman. It's a costume I could easily pull off.

Yuna - Final Fantasy X

Yuna is a well proportioned girl. Even in X-2, here chest size didn't increase. She did look less like the summoning priestess she was supposed to be...

Alice - Shadow Hearts
Alice, sweet little Alice. You can ignore her short dress because she's pretty well proportioned, with a bit on the thin side.

Tifa - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
Toned down for a larger (no pun intended) audience, this Tifa is correctly proportioned and ends up looking ten times cooler.

Aerith - Final Fantasy VII
Let's not forget the sacrifice of FF7: Aerith. She had a normal body. In fact, when I think about, the only female in Final Fantasy whose character design made you cry was Tifa. Even the scantily clad Yuna, Riku, and Paine of X-2 were well proportioned. (Yes, I know I gave you a link to a Kingdom Hearts shot. The point is still the same.)

Zelda - Legend of Zelda
Link's lady love is an elf, which has worked in her back's favor. Elfish girls, even in video games, have managed to stay flat as a board.

Peach - Super Mario Brothers
Princess Peach, marketed to younger players, is well proportioned, if cartoonish. Which is good, because she's marketed to younger players.

So it's not all bad. It's pretty obvious which games were made to appeal to a particular set though. Though gravity defying tits is only one thing to complain about. I can go on and on about scantily clad women or token female characters that have no personality. To be honest, I'm not surprised by the amount female objectification in some games. I'm just disappointed.

Does this game ever end?

I'm going to be honest. I haven't been playing Magna Carta: Tears of Blood. My husband has.

Every once in a while, I want to play a video game, but I'm busy working on a project, so he plays it for me while I watch. I know that sounds stupid, but I know I couldn't play Silent Hill and Resident Evil, even though I love both series. That aside, on to the review.

The battle system, though unique, is terribly, terribly slow. Characters are not assigned turns. Instead, the battle gauge fills to an arrow, you can choose a character to attack. You then choose an attack and complete a Shadow Hearts style judgement ring. If successful, you get to watch the long, drawn out, attack. None of this is easy. Changing characters will change the spacing of arrows on the battle gauge. The types and amounts of chi in the area effect whether or not you can even attack. If you aren't careful, you could trip the Trinity Drive, which is like a limit break and useful for boss fights, but easily lost if you miss the attack sequence. It takes a good hour to two hours to get a handle on the attacks and the tutorial sucks, so read the book thoroughly.

The only up shot to all of this is that you don't have to fight much and you go up in level pretty quickly.

Then again, how well you do in battle depends on how much the other characters like Calintz. The game gives you the option of talking to the other characters, small talk basically, to raise their trust in you. You also have the ability to give your friends gifts, similar to the dot.Hack series. But make a false move and suddenly, at a critical moment in battle, things go haywire with your battle gauge.

The graphics are beautiful and even the silly looking, cartoonish monsters have a sense of the real to them. The most outstanding part of the game is the music, which is fantastic! My only complaint is that the music they use for the game demonstration video was obviously americ

General complaints:

It took me 30 minutes (the entire intro) to figure out Calintz was a guy. Azel was worse. The kid doesn't even look male. The only apparent way to tell them from the girls is that they don't have large chests. Even still, you wonder for a long time. I mean, I love bishies, but this is ridiculous.

Speaking of large chests, for those of you who complained about Shania's gravity defying tits in Shadow Hearts: From the New World, I swear she's got nothing on Reith. That chest is practically in her neck! Other female characters don't have it that bad.

The game is not difficult. It's about as hard as Star Ocean 3, however, the battles are long and finding your way around is a pain in the butt. You will be playing this game for a month or more because they never tell you where anything is, and you have to walk and fight the whole way.

The Bottom Line:
The story is great, if you can sit through the first fifteen hours of it and not flinch. The battle system is clunky and ultimately, that kills the game. My husband and I picked it and put it down often out of frustation at the action being so slow. This game will go the way of the dodo.

Playstation 3 vs. Xbo 360

Here's a good article that goes indepth on the pros and cons of each system from Yahoo Games.

New look!

Check out the sweet, sweet new look! It came curtesy of Blogger Templates.

Live Action Final Fantasy

Have I posted this before? Who cares! It's SWEET!

Final Fantasy Live Action Chapter 1

Final Fantasy Live Action Prequel 2


Game Over

New York animator Pes gives us some old 8-bits as done by food. Very sweet.

Game Over

Family Guy Vs. American Dad

Here's a sweet, sweet fighting game my friend Sarah found. Check it out!

American Dad vs. Family Guy Kung-Fu!

You will need flash 8 to play.



There's a great article by Wraggster over at DCEMU about the state of homebrewing consoles. If you aren't a homebrewer and interested in how it works, take a look.


I blinked...

No, seriously. Did anyone else miss this too?

They ported the minigame for mobile phones.

Final Fantasy VII: Snowboarding


I was going to actually comment on this, because its super cool, but every time I tried to get on blogger for the last four days, the system was down. :P

Here's the awesome article on the Whedonverse!


What Hollywood Can Learn from Video Games

Game Daily Biz has an excellent article by David Radd on what Hollywood can learn from the gaming industry.

Radd does an excellent job, but he left out one important thing Hollywood needs to learn from gaming:

People want stories.

Most people don't give a rat's hinder portion whether or not the movie has exciting special effects or big name actors. We want stories. And if Lord of the Rings was any indictation, we'll sit for a long time just to see a good one.

We want a story with a plot and characters we can believe. We want a story that means something to us and leaves us with a sense of having, at least vicariously, accomplished a task of great magnitude if only by cheering on the good guys.

In video games, we've got stories: Star Ocean, dot.Hack, Final Fantasy.

We'll beat each other with sticks to get to a good story when there's one copy left on the shelf at EB Games. We salivate over good stories. Good stories give us a reason to continue with even the most difficult games (Devil May Cry 3), the most frightening games (Silent Hill: The Room), and the most frustrating games (Prince of Persia: any of them).

We want a story that makes us believe that the world is worth fighting for (Final Fantasy 1-infinity), that friendship will sustain us in our trials (Kingdom Hearts), and that we can over come any odds for love (Shadow of the Colossus).

Give us a story. A real story. And you won't be able to keep us out of the theatre.


Totally Geeking Out

So I'm reading my email when, at the top, appears an ad for Advancing Hordes. And me, being the total geek that I am, had to click on the add and check out the new Gamescience dice.

Ah, Gamescience! The ultimate in dice! Even my beloved crit machines have nothing on my precious Gamescience dice! Sarah got me a set of amethyst for my birthday a few years ago. I screamed like a banshee for five minutes straight, I was so happy.

Anyway... I notice, for the first time, the bouncing d18s! Sweet sassy molassy!

I wants it! I wants it!

God, I'm such a geek.


“Nobody shoots anybody in the face unless you’re a hit man or a video gamer.”

Look out people, I'm a video gamer and libel to kill!

Jack Thompson is running his mouth off again. Now, he's harrassing a poor little town in Louisiana dealing with a homicide. Acting on Thompson's advice, the sheriff has confiscated video games from the homes of the teens involved.

Law enforcement experts, criminologists, prosecutors, and academics have said time and again the video games do not cause “real-life crime.” Thompson is just another moron who wants to do anything but let a person be responsible for their actions. When a person leaps off a building, you do not blame the building owner for not putting up a fence. You hold the person who committed the act responsible.

If I commit a crime, it is not because I've played Castlevania, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Super Mario Brothers, Sonic the Hedgehog, Simpson's Hit and Run, Lego Star Wars, Prince of Persia, Dance Dance Revolution, Mortal Kombat, Katamari Damacy, Shadow Hearts, Rayman, Resident Evil, Inuyasha, Legend of Zelda, Silent Hill, The Sims, Tetris, Star Ocean, Harry Potter, Full Metal Alchemist, Radiata Stories, Frogger, Pong, Galatica, Galaga, Contra, Life Force, Masters of Tera Kasai (there's an old one!), Haunting Grounds, or Shadow of the Collossus. If I commit a crime, it is my fault and not the fault of anything else. I am not inspired to commit a crime when I play a video game. I am inspired to write fanfiction, like most people.

Of course, this attitude toward video games doesn't surprise me. It's really the evolution of the 'blame Dungeons and Dragons' crap from years ago. And for the record: D&D does NOT lead to witchcraft and devil worship. It leads to Doritoes and Mountain Dew.

Me out

P.S. - The post title is a direct quote from Thomspon.
P.P.S. - You can't actually fight in Haunting Ground. All you can do is run.


We Don't Need the PC

Or so Sony would have us believe.

It's finally come to light what I've suspected since the first PS3 announcement: Sony wants a piece of PC gaming. In an interview with Der Spiegel, Phil Harrison spoke of the PS3 web capabilities and the Linux operating system. Sony, in its ever escalating console war, is moving into Microsoft's traditional realm of the PC just with its console. Doing so would give them a shot at the PC game market.

I wish I had a big stamp that said 'STUPID' so I could slam it on Sony's collective head.

The PC game is a completely different animal when compared to the console game. Sure, you have movement back and forth (Final Fantasy, Myst, Elder Scrolls), but the PC experience is something a console cannot match. Moving into the realm of the PC means building a box better than the ones PC gamers have been building for themselves for years. I built my machine for $300. What makes Sony think the PS3 will do better at $600?

I mean really: Does Sony think it can match companies like Falcon, who have concentrated specifically on the making the ultimate PC for gamers?

And does Sony think that all people do on their PCs is game? Apparently not since they keep talking about MySpace and other interactive websites that connect people.

So Sony wants to use its PS3 to connect people. Excellent idea.

It wants to create a computer wrapped in a game console. Okay.

Of course, how you're going to connect people with a Linux operating system when the the average gamer is operating system illiterate is beyond me. They'd be better off contacting Apple and asking Steve Jobs what he thinks about making a jump into gaming consoles.

Of course, Steve Jobs is smart. I'm sure he'd take a look at console gaming history and see that whenever console made a leap in gaming that wasn't ready to to be made (ie Sega CD, the entire Atari Jaguar system), the console bit the big one. He'll laugh in Sony's face.

Linux is really the best choice and maybe the only choice for Sony. It would take years to develop a new OS. Of course, its also the best choice for Linux. If the PS3 bombs, no loss, no foul for Linux. If the PS3 takes off, Linux will go major. It's a sweet deal for Linux.

Back to connecting with people: Nintendo and Microsoft don't seem to be having any trouble connecting people. Nintendo has maintained a steady course on their vow to be only about the games and with the Wii, about games that people play together. Microsoft doesn't need to turn its console into a PC: they are a major player in the personal computer world. Microsoft can concentrate on developing mind blowing games for the XBox. Sony is taking a different course, integrating new and different technologies into a console and telling the world that their console isn't about games.

But if their console isn't about gaming, why not just give us a straight computer offering and leave the gaming world behind?

Because their console is about gaming. They just haven't figured that out yet. The idea of combining a DVD player in a gaming console for the PS2 was stroke of genius. At a time when DVD players were expensive, you could buy a PS2. You could have your cake and eat it too. But people didn't buy the PS2, or the PSX for that matter, for the other things they could do. They bought them to play games. Sony isn't listening to their customers. The PSP should be taken as an early warning system: the UMD and other non-game related aspects of the PSP are failing. Stick with the games.

When they stick with the games they produce things like Shadow of the Colossus.

Of course, this could all be one big trick. If Sony gets the PS3 labelled as a PC, import prices on components drop considerably. Suspicious...

Anyway, Sony should just settle down and forget the PS3. We haven't even pushed the limits of the PS2 yet. What Sony should have done is, instead of wasting money, is make a set of commercials. Commercials that go something like this:

Voice Over: This is the XBox 360. (Show random game footage for xbox.)
Voice Over: This is the Nintendo Wii. (Show random game footage for wii.)
Voice Over: This is the PS2. (Show Final Fantasy 12 footage.)
Voice Over: Who needs a new console anyway?

And that would be the final word.

Der Spiegel Article (Deutsch)
Same Article in English